QUESTION:  How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives, and     Southerners? 
ANSWER: Pose the following question: 
   You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and 7yr old daughter.  Suddenly, a dangerous 
man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you - screams obscenities, raises the 
knife, and charges. 
    You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. 
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.  What do you do ? 
Liberal Answer: 
    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question !  Does the man look poor or oppressed? 
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack ?  Could we run away ? What does 
my wife think ?  What about the kids ?  Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out 
of his hand ?  What does the law say about this situation ?  Does the Glock have the appropriate safety 
built into it ? 
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway - and what kind of message does this send to society and to 
my children ?  Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me ? 
    Does he definitely  want to kill me ?- Or would he be content just to wound me ?  If I were to grab his 
knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me ?  Should I call 9-1-1 ? 
    Why is this street so deserted ?  We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this 
a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior ! 
    This is all so confusing !  I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a 
consensus. 
Conservative Answer: 
    BANG ! 
Southerners Answer: 
   BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! 
 click, click,,,,,,,,,,,,,(sounds of reloading). 
   BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!  BANG!  BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! 
 Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy !  Were those the Winchester silver tips ??"